yerida here we come

i told my sister that i was planning to move back to new york at the end of this year and she didn't take it well. of course she insisted that i did not make an adequate attempt to integrate which is obviously true. she should live to be 700 years old and i should see here twice a year.

freyda is in bad shape. a virus causing her pneumonia which could be something that she is vulnerable to that other people who have not had bone marrow transplants are not vulnerable to.

i don't know what i'm doing this year. and my desire for new york and my desire for reefer are confusing. but this is not me, this is me on a break.

israel holding onto the west bank for security reasons can be justified. israel holding on to the west bank for a land grab cannot be justified.

the lack of family that shares my "left wing" point of view does not help my assimilation here.

the war in gaza did not help my assimilation here.

the election of netanyahu did not help my assimilation here.

my reaction to my return to israel on august 6th of last year was at the basis of all this.

my lack of finding a female that i would respond to or that i would allow myself to respond to, is at the basis of all this.

i have never come close to getting a real job here.

micha giving me the heave ho did not help.

cutting off relations with klitsner by allowing myself to be overcome with the obsession with his/her daughter did not help.

one arabic teacher alienating a female student from me and one arabic teacher alienating himself from me did not help matters.

hating this fucking country did not help matters.

my shyness without reefer did not help matters.